Seltzer Genius 🥤🧠
@seltzergenius
inner peace through superior firepower
imo its important to completely and utterly understand that everything everyone ever says is motivated by emotion you can put whatever horseshit on top of it you want, if i know how you feel i know why you built it
obsessed with this beat lmao juicy j x Radiohead is insane youtu.be/8zMjePY00iM?si…
How can the concept of charm be this elusive to these people? Damn, what woman wouldn't want to date that list of facts?
I have a good friend who’s an ultra smart data science guy. Masters in statistics, great job, 6’2”. Maybe a touch socially awkward but a good dude. Legit cannot find a gf. Years of frustration on dating apps. Feel for him. These types of guys used to clean up with women.
I feel she is being queered in this work
taylor swift as medications i fill at work: oxycodone 10 mg
had a dream I was irresponsibly horsing around in the oval office. just like throwing a football around and being like oops when it knocked over a bunch of books and shit
I think a good one is 'grab your phone when you have an idea, not in order to get an idea'
mountainhead is so good its got a savvy and acerbic critique of a new class of rich transparently insecure loser that I feel hasn't been meaningfully palpated in media since the 90s
if you are between the ages of 25 and 45, in the best possible case you have a slightly better than 1 in 100 chance of dying in the next 5 years its a buzz kill annoying thing but you should probably keep it in the back of your mind to get some zazz in your blood
pedophile walking up to kids on a playground: so what kinds of ages are you guys turning these days like 22? 23?
my life is best delineated by periods of thinking about certain stuff for many years and then getting sick of thinking about that stuff and thinking about some new stuff for many years
battery and juice running out at the same time is as close as I get to zen
making a single serving of coconut sugar and smoked paprika simple syrup for a single cocktail is one of the cheapest ways I've ever felt opulent
every time the tangled cord pulls the blow dryer cord out of the wall I see a very fast Lynchian vignette of my suicide
im not participating in conspicuous consumption I'm queering The Joneses
at the scene, there was an officer-involved ghost vacuum fatality
it is not aging or death that we ought to fear, but instead not living fully, the prospect of having lived and died in a small, half-hearted way, one that abandoned our highest potential and our deepest virtues
I was trying to think of the word insomnia and I was like what is the thing where you're afraid of sleep? necrophilia?