christian
@nopoweradeinusa
it's funny to me
me: lol fuck amy schumer that dumbass fat broad [everyone gets mad] me: I mean, fuck amy schumer that dumbass fat WHITE broad [everyone smiles pleasantly]
one of my favorite things to do as a landlord is just hanging out & chopping it up about music in the living room with my tenant, cool that his rent goes towards my hifi system and I think he appreciates that
one of the funniest bits is drug addict lying, like you could find them faced down asleep in a burrito bowl and if you ask them if they got high they will flat out go "nah" while they have sour cream in their hair
my favorite bit to do lately is telling my group chat I came home early and walked in on my roommate spreading his ass and looking at his own butthole in the mirror
[coming into work after having my coworkers add me on steam and seeing my name was set to "CUM PIG SLAVE"] good morning team
ex gf posted an instagram story saying she bought a movie for $5 on youtube now all my friends are claiming i'm a bad boyfriend cause I never taught her how to torrent
Colonel Parker (Walton Goggins): Elvis we gon make you a star, boy. Every teenage girl in the country gon have her beaver goin buck wild for your Mississippi backwoods ass Elvis (Danny McBride): shiiiit im already a star idk what the fuck you talkin bout. Watch me dance son
has a rapper ever done a mixtape called like "I sell cocaine and cocaine accessories" and the cover art is black hank hill
Found a guy on marketplace who puts AI-generated orcs into his furniture listings?
if I was a drug dealer my bit would be whenever someone bought anything from me I'd make them sit in my car & be all "check out this song" and play Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil Wayne - Let It Rock
my friend is currently in Vanuatu on vacation & has sent the group chat more photos of the shits he's taken there than the nice meals he has ate
kanye saw this post & changed his entire career trajectory
