That Mom Tho
@mom_tho
contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3Amom_tho%20-filter%3Areplies
accidentally used my husbands body wash and now i don’t move out of the way when someone’s walking toward me
My favorite app to scroll is Venmo because why is Bill making his wife pay him back for her Starbucks coffee?
Sometimes, when people say Gene Hackman, I think they mean Gene Wilder. Sigh.
Make sure you kids drink enough water! -me with my 4th cup of coffee
me: omg raising these kids as teenagers now is gonna be hard wife: yeah [literally dies] me: mf.
I just hope that when it happens it’s a Friday so we can really celebrate for the whole weekend.
Trying weird shit that your kids eat - PART 1. Poptarts with a cheese slice on top.
Here today, gone tomorrow -all the snacks I bought for my kids for the week
might start shitting my pants when I want out of a conversation.
me, laying on the couch toddler: dad, I didn't go peepee anywhere. I want you to know I didn't. me, getting off the couch
In the glowing fluorescence Of the grocery store lights An agonizing realization As my hand grazes my thigh I missed an entire strip of hair While shaving this morning
gonna put a bumper sticker on my car that says "don't honk at me. My wife is dead".
Chowder? I dont even know her, come on.
I made my dog go to the bathroom in the rain Then a car drove through a puddle and splashed me Can’t help but think my dog is smirking at the karma