Dan🥛
@m0ppits
slightly retarded
"DAAAAD TODAY IN SOCIAL STUDIES MISS JONES ASKED IF ANYONE KNEW WHAT TAXES WERE AND I SAID THEFT LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY BUT SHE GAVE ME DETENTION"
As the Soviet Union was collapsing, Metallica and Pantera held a free concert in Moscow. Over 500,000 Russians attended. They were welcomed as Gods, symbolizing their newfound freedom. Metal is extremely American. Shut the fuck up.
My parents didn’t let us listen to Metal. Was devil worshipping music. Hard to see how they were wrong. Pantera used pentagrams. Even if “ironic,” or “art,” it’s demonic symbolism. Later in life I tried. Couldn’t stomach it. Made me physically ill. It’s the sound of demons.
how slutty of a magic ring do you have to be to change sizes for whoever is about to wear you "is this better? 🫣"
The most cringe thing about metal is that it’s a bunch of relatively nice guys trying to act evil and scary but otherwise it’s the last great musical genre invented by white men
a yt short popped up in my recommended that was just a couple women complaining about how men's calorie deficits are higher than theirs "i wish i could eat 2300 cal and still be in deficit"
the intro to Iron Man probably sounded so fucking mean back in the day ... "born in the wrong generation", but actually though
she coulda just said she has black donors but no, she had to make it racist smdh
Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett says the quiet part out loud. She says that she has donors preparing to use “dark-money” to help Democrats win the House back in the midterms.
risking an artery laceration by climbing down a rock face just to get this shot was worth it
is there a way to get paid to clear spider webs from trails because I can't believe im doing this shit for free.
everyone says they're not gonna buy self-driving cars but im sure they said the same thing about auto transmission too. the shift delay in autos is bad enough but I can't imagine giving complete control to AI. i work with automation too much to trust any of it in my personal life
sorry babe, instead of your usual song, tonight the vibrator is synced to War Pigs in honor of Ozzy
"i couldnt have made it any more obvious that i was flirting" her flirting: