lainey💘

a thread of all my written works💕🌷enjoy the chaos.

won’t be able to talk to my wife all weekend so i’ll be sleeping with her shirt 🥺

“i like the x-files” “i don’t like john doggett or monica reyes.”

I CACKLED

i was on my jean milburn grind last night

“YOU DONT WANT A BALLPOINT PEN?!” then immediately goes into deborah mode — i CACKLED

it’s for when your wife asks you to buy her a treat on the way back from work

They go to the same barber

i for one am a mushroom fuckass wig apologist🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

“step mother” “mother” “I like that the kids call us that” pls 😭😭😭😭

YES

everything i learn about david duchovny is against my will

i’m so lucky bc my wife is so understanding and patient with my sister and her woes, meanwhile i sit here and listen to her shit just like this bc it drives me nuts

saw someone say this is like the pope on his balcony but better and real cc @ClubConcrave

OUCH

i love the x-files, love the message and its intricacies but at the end of the day i only care for her

doordash is here

RT if you agree

me and my wife (i’m the left)

hulk hogan trapped in purgatory after trisha paytas closed off his path to reincarnation