kiwi 🪬🍉🖇️
@kiwehhhhh
her stare stains your retina like a gray bulb as you switch hemispheres and her knee length quilt skirt’s cut to catch the squall
I guess every Wordle on the first try and every time I refresh ThisPersonDoesNotExist it's another one of my coworkers
GIRL SHAZAM?
Esquire has ranked the 25 best superhero movies of all time: 25 - Thunderbolts* 24 - Shazam 23 - Super 22 - Thor: Ragnarok 21 - Watchmen 20 - Superman II 19 - Avengers: Endgame 18 - GOTG Vol. 2 17 - Shin Kamen Rider (‘23) 16 - Hellboy (‘04) 15 - Captain America: The Winter…
the article says she got $11 million out of them and spent a ton of it online gambling…a queen
One-year-old has been babbling more and three-year-old keeps patiently responding “I do not know what you are saying.”
My one-year-old slept thru the SMOKE ALARMS going off like FULLY BLARING but god forbid I un-Velcro my Tevas as quietly as I can at a painstaking molasses speed during naptime. Make it make sense!
Try not to listen to too much British music but Ozzy had some great songs
I’m listening to the recent Theo Von interview of Joaquin Phoenix and within the first five minutes Theo asks “did you do anything fun this summer?” And Joaquin says “when does the summer start?”
that CEO guy had a rush of blood to the wrong head lol. anyone said that yet. we still talking about that or
The Chat GPT generation is so cooked. They’ll never know the joy of [I see a pop-up ad for kitchen tongs and spend the next 120 minutes silently scrolling Williams Sonoma’s YouTube feed]
(at family dinner last night) Me: did you hear about the guy caught cheating on his wife at the Coldplay concert My mom: yeah I heard he’s the CEO of a big tech company Brother who is addicted to Wikipedia: “big tech company?” They don’t even have their own Wikipedia page
Today my three-year-old said “tomorrow will be a fun day, it will be Friday” and we literally can’t figure out how he knows that. When I asked him he said “I know Friday and Saturday”
I had a dream last night where the entire scope involved me purchasing and using a new tube of toothpaste to brush my teeth. I mean that’s pretty dire, no?
they shouldn’t be allowed to do this since one of them was already in The Nice Guys and the other was already in The Other Guys
Ryan Gosling and Will Ferrell will star in a new comedy titled ‘TOUGH GUYS’ The film follows 2 goons who are tired of being disposable & break free from the criminal underworld. (Source: Deadline)
Anthony Bourdain as a fly: Life is short. Leave some fruit on the counter. Open the windows, let the flies in. Open the doors, let flies into the rooms. Let flies in through doors and windows.