fuckmarrywill.bsky.social
@fuckmarrywill
writer
went through my 5000+ tweets and put the only ~25 good ones into this twitter moment.
chobani has no right putting this freaky ass shit on their lids
top of the key size up. hesi left. uncle bot bites. i drive right—JUST KIDDING. shammgod back to my left. head fake a 15 footer. he bites again, fucking idiot. behind the back & drive right. i feel uncle bot on my back & go straight up. and-one. 1-0. he rips me apart limb by limb
Uncle Bot update: he cannot play Basketball with the boys yet as this is still beyond his capabilities. He will watch and support them from the sidelines, though.
leave this fool @mrsmet
Rough night for Mr. Met at the Lumineers concert
Man. Don’t know how to explain it other than shock. Words cannot express the pain of this letdown. The frustration is unfathomable. I’ve worked my whole life to get to this moment and this is how it ends? Makes no sense. Now that I’ve gotten surgery, I wish I could count the…
ME: [copious amount of elves falling out of my pockets] STOP THE FUCKING CAR!!!
![fuckmarrywill's tweet image. ME: [copious amount of elves falling out of my pockets] STOP THE FUCKING CAR!!!](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GuD0t-sWsAAC08o.jpg)
probably still not gonna change my passwords though
JUST IN: 16 billion login credentials leaked in world's largest data breach, affecting Apple, Google, Facebook, Telegram & more.
This sketch came out 17 years ago
WE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS LMFAOOOO
1-0.
designed some bumper stickers and i love em all. might put all four on my car.
The first player in NBA history with a triple-double on 0 TOV in the Conference Finals:
AARON NESMITH TONIGHT — 30 POINTS 9/13 FGM 8/9 3PM 4/4 FTM GAME OF HIS LIFE 🔥🔥🔥
p sure i saw chicago pope open for snail mail in like 2019