DR. FF FINCH (the wizard doctor)

the wizard finch has a message for you!

*scribbling frantically on a clipboard* “so uh…. are you hool-a-hooping often?”

alrighty, i just need some basic information from you. do you know your height? …um… are you sure? it’s not that i don’t trust you but i’m going to measure you just to make sure.. hmm… how tall where you a year ago? and the year before that? no that is NOT normal

you look like someone who could use a catheter

let me just check those ears of yours… oh! oh my! oh dear… that’s not good… not good at all… your ear trolls are VERY upset

forgive my poor bedside manners, but i have to be honest… this is worst case of goblin lice i have ever seen… even the fleas have lice

*aggressively digging holes* i swear it’s not a compulsion… it’s more like… a masculine desire that can only be fulfilled by dirt

ABSOLUTELY NOT! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HAVOC MY ROBES WREAKED? DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO CAPTURE THEM?

fuck…