Eddo Brandes Fan Account

This is the basis of my philosophy.

Ofcom has been sending several American clients pretty stupid letters over the last six months. Pinged the White House about it this morning. Got a callback 20 minutes later asking for recommendations for visa bans. What a time to be alive.

The average penis size is 5.5 inches? I thought it was 4. This is most unsettling

BREAKING: the council have voted to support the closure of the Bell Hotel in Epping, news which was music to the ears of the crowd protesting outside

Cambridge University using Stormzy’s full name is a racist dogwhistle intended to suggest that he is an unsuitable leader for the Conservative Party

Pretty much.

Day 1 of the Online Safety Act and I've found a nice quiet spot for my new mobile gooncave

So patriot hacktivists had to mobilise to bring down Tea app but the much more vital Coalfax was cancelled by the app store? I am SICK of these DOUBLE STANDARDS

Feel like that episode of Rogan where he gave Musk his first joint was a bad turning point in Elon's life

Fraser Nelson proposes tripling the number of asylum seekers by opening up legal routes as a way to solve public concern about asylum

Hi Ms Cates, i think there may be a problem with Hansard as it doesn't record a word you said about grooming gangs in your entire career despite representing a seat adjacent to Rotherham. In the debate on the Jay inquiry your only contribution was blathering on online pornography

"The four studies that will change your relationship with wasps - forever."

Probably 60 - 70% of the weird things Bryan Johnson does to himself is to compensate for getting no sunlight like a cave salamander

Nicholas Roeg's Don't Look Now is a dreamlike, deeply disturbing film about how dwarves will stab you in an abandoned Venetian palazzo if you don't get them first

Par Lagerkvist's The Dwarf isn't a complex metaphor for nazis or commies or whatever it's about how dwarfs are truly evil

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Extremely suspicious of any man who has ever taken, much less posted, a selfie

Social workers, civil servants, and even retirees - get over 30% off new cars today! Only at Motorfinity!

We should probably talk about the Blue Light card scheme.

All eyes on the migrant hotels, but legal immigration remains the biggest crisis facing Britain today.

If we can't yet criminalise Private Eye and its readers, a subscription should at least be prima facie grounds for handing over power of attorney to a relative on the basis of diminished responsibility