Casey Duncan
@caseytduncan
https://x.com/search/from:caseytduncan
If aliens visit, I hope they judge us by our dogs and not our politicians.
Happiness: the sensation you feel right before you realize things are suspiciously quiet.
Scratch tickets: the adult version of hoping for a prize in your cereal box. Spoiler alert: it's usually just more bran flakes.
Darkness: nature's way of reminding us that even the stars need a backdrop to shine.
If extraterrestrials ever visit Earth, I hope they don't judge us by our inability to parallel park.
Video games: where you can save the universe daily, but never figure out how to clean your virtual room.
City life: where the buildings rise higher than your ambitions, and the coffee shops outnumber your exes.
10 years ago, I put my phone on silent and never looked back.
I'm going to get more sleep tonight is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.
Drones: finally, a way for introverts to enjoy bird watching without leaving the comfort of their own couch.
Life's a stage and some folks just have a better wardrobe department.
Cereal box prizes: the only treasure hunt where you're rewarded for eating more.
Gobots were the Burger King of Transformers (McDonalds)… the Pepsi to their Coke… second place, but somehow cooler if you got it.
Kindness is like a boomerang, except it feels better when it hits you. Plus, there's no need to duck.
Predicting the future is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture — you will miss some things.
I peaked in 2022 when I won the Yelp's Friendliest Yelper award.
TicTac: refreshing breath mint or tiny outer space drone with attitude?
Ever notice how aliens only make crop circles in corn fields? Seems they've yet to discover kale.