birdbath

Being a based rightwing creative is demoralizing, I just wanna take pics with expired film of anorexic girls holding motherboards to cover their pussy while keeping their feet in the frame, but no one who isn't a blown-out crackwhore will work with me because of "the allegations"

yeah im "trans" taradactyl romantic abstinent ne'er-do-well soliloquy I'm also deeply in the throes of alcoholism in a way that's getting less and less easy to spin into a comedic light

Take that Lululemon athleisure off girl, lemme see if that vulva smells acidic

Typa Nigga Who Go To Thailand For The Low-Cost Of Living 💯 No Ladyboy Shit 🚫 Imma Flirt Tho If I Been Drinking Or Feel Particularly Lonesome 😪

I nutted on the black Salomon trainers of a healthgoth dominatrix in the bathroom of a techno show in 2019 and she didn't wipe it off because it looked cool, someone took a pic which went viral in European tumblr scenes which Mason Margiela saw and it inspired this sneaker design

I need this to be a film. This will be such a soulful indie film.

Circumcision is an esoteric method to shock an infant's sacral chakra so that energy is channeled upwards from the traumatic region to attain higher consciousness. This is why Ashkenazis have high IQ's & the women have huge tits in order to entice their sex-shy males to procreate

I used to be involved in sex-work, and I paid the price dearly. It started innocently enough, where I'd carry around thrifted film cameras and it disarmed women into believing I was some kind of hipster they could trust to be naked around. I'd buy wedding dresses off Facebook…

I think the French have the best understanding of bodybuilding where the fundamental tenets require sufficient strength so you can fend off 2-3 cardio bunnies with your left hand while holding a cig or cappuccino in your right, anything more is superfluous and attracts gay demons

Gen Z takes more adderall than all previous generations combined, so logically their beer consumption would be lower as it's antithetical to the stim high. Also many zoomers don't have drivers licenses, and beer is goated for driving as it only mildly hinders your motor functions

The trolley problem for post-modern mystics is whether they want to put up with the incessant bitching of their local 7/10 soulmate, or to have 8 eager vietnamese girls smother the vigor from their lungs and nuts with their unkempt jungle vulvas. Black women are also a phenomenon

One time I put a cig out on a bug that was crawling on my arm and I watched it smolder as its lifeforce dissipated, then some Karen came over to me saying "You can't smoke here" 1. I just put it out 2. This is iHop not The Taj Mahal 3. Why are your kids a different color than you

Watching my roommate play GTA 4, driving slow and following all the laws, while Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice plays through my noise-canceling Sony headphones that I need to return to Target within 3 days for a refund so I can buy beer. Thinking about what my life would be like…

When I was in highschool skinny jeans were becoming popular & anytime a guy wore them we'd all hit him in the nuts, then the girls started doing it to the guys too so we all started wearing them because we enjoyed it. Now you need a swastika facetat just for a girl to spit on you

Gonna tell my grandkids I had sex with all the women in this picture and that I made all the art on the walls. They'll probably be some half-Chinese drooling cyborg turbo-autists anyway, so who gives a shit if I lie to them? God deserted our planet a long time ago

The #MeToo movement happened because redditbrained millennial men wouldn't strangle women during sex. Then zoomers came along after growing up watching UFC, but are almost too good at these submission maneuvers so now any chick with 3+ bodies is braindead. At least they're afraid

hot girls be like "Excuse me, my eyes are up here" meanwhile they got the entire first chapter of Thus Spake Zarathustra on their crop-top and I have astigmatism, & also haven't jerked off in a few days