Certified Ruto Hater

One day you’ll stop posting cause you’re dead but your followers will be really wondering what happened to you since you’ve stopped posting.

Ending another week TOP of the chart! Speedometer inachezea 260!

🚨 Arsenal reach total agreement with Sporting Lisbon to sign Viktor Gyokeres. #SportingCP grant 27yo striker permission to travel; medical scheduled for Saturday. Sweden international expected to wear iconic No14 shirt as new #AFC front man @TheAthleticFC nytimes.com/athletic/65103…

Another season of Martinelli’s runs with zero output

Starboy Saka with the first goal

I’ve run out of Uber discounts

I’ll be pulling this celebration mid missionary to remind her Gyökeres plays for my club.

“Gyokeres to Arsenal Here We Go”https://t.co/MYcgO7nzY5

I stopped bothering with NTSA offices and their Huduma Centre desks. My DL is paid for, so when the cops ask, I just pull up eCitizen to show it’s valid. Otherwise, utazungushwa for days in those corridors.

Me analyzing the weather app every morning just to decide what goes on top of my shirt; jacket or half jacket.

My tight hamstrings watching me attempt a Bulgarian split

This babe was on my case heavy. We’re finally vibing, then she casually drops that she once went on an all-paid weekend with an mp. Said she laughed at how tiny his dick was that the guy left her. She thought it was hilarious. I told myself I can’t be with a politician’s whore.

First time I’ll be supporting Marcus Rashford MBE after years of hatewatching. Visca el Barca!

You should have taken a photo after shaking it and opening the top ikisquirt

All Hail The Queen!

FPL talk back on my TL. We’re almost back in business.

“TRUE love always wins”