𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀

I’ve got a new and typically awful song out now Not that it matters Does anything really matter? No We’re all just pointless bags of meat full of tribal hatred towards one another open.spotify.com/album/6JHrA7lJ…

63rd when you add the extras

@TwopTwips Feel younger by doing this to paracetamol then pretend you're 19 & at a club.

PARENTS. Encourage your kids to swear by getting a shih-tzu or a fucking labrador. (via @ThisEcho)

Oh no!

#OnThisDay 1981: Two time Ballon d’Or winner, Kevin Keegan appeared on Blue Peter and came face to face with his own likeness in the shape of a “3D Fabric Portrait” of himself.

Thirty days sober folks. Not consecutively, but here and there over the years. I’m estimating

Tricky start to the season for Pollen FC

How my chat with Grok 😞 about tribalism, determinism and the threat of human extinction ended. (It was a good chat after I asked it to stop talking like an annoyingly cool surf-toddler)

Gatwick Airport's terrified

CONFUSE Geordie physiotherapists by informing them that you've got knee complaints. (via @bertnews)

I like how The Pope's page looks like he's scored a late winner and is giving the away end some grief.

King Charles puts the finishing touches to his letter...

If Home Alone was filmed in 2025

Hope the guys making this thing are recording a bunch of increasingly ominous audio logs about the process onto individual USB sticks and scattering them around the facility

If there’s one thing we must have learned by now it’s that the British public cannot be trusted with this sort of thing.

Like everyone I'm a little torn on the referendum, but it's quite clear all the freaks and nutters are for Brexit #Farage #Bojo #IDS #GOVE

WITH half of the country officially hating the other half, why not have a full on civil war? Tomorrow afternoon. Carlisle Wetherspoon’s.