It’s Mrs. Matt, actually
@SayAnythingH
Cheese stan. Hydrated AF. Potato. Bad Luck. Frumpling. The epitome of average. Petty bitch sometimes. heavy load. @mbs59er’s ideal-ish participation trophy wife
Group projects should be all the proof you need that communism will never work.
Seeing a movie for the 2nd time in 10 days because @mbs59er doesn’t want me to be happy
Can we bring Bob Barker back, please? Because the price, it is not right.
In my defense, I don’t have any idea what I’m talking about either
Proud to have no idea what some of you are even talking about.
I have a shameful confession. A while back @TwolvesMan sent me some vegemite and… I don’t hate it. It’s growing on me.
Do you get to use the restroom in peace while in your own home or are you a mom
I’m not saying I’m condoning violence but my children are currently playing “standoff with the IRS” so at least they can identify bad guys
I just made delicious smelling cinnamon sugar waffles that I can’t eat as if I needed another reminder that life’s not fair
In hindsight, letting my already feral child watch Major Payne was probably a bad idea and I should apologize in advance to all her little friends’ mothers that they are now calling each other turds and maggots
Kids, you only get 18 short precious years where you don’t have to think about what’s for dinner. SAVOR THEM.
I hate this question because what difference does it make?
It’s my job as a mother to teach my children the important things in life. For instance, if they want cookies, it’s important to immediately get the butter and eggs out of the fridge and let them get to room temperature before they begin mixing the other ingredients.
It’s a rain all day kinda day, what should I bake?
World’s richest 12yo
Yes this is real. The Robotaxi network expanded and costs $6.90 per ride.
That got your hands wet right after putting on lotion feeling is just 🤢🤢🤮
Slept better than I have in months last night so naturally my neck is in horrific pain today
Look I wish I could but my dog said he doesn’t like you so I can’t
Doing Florida things and by that I mean I’m sitting in my car waiting for the rain to level to change from deluge to downpour
Please tell me what to make for dinner, I don’t want to decide
I have no time for current emotions, I’m busy being embarrassed about something I did 35 years ago