Noah Garfinkel

I have made another short film about Twitter.

Is every sleeping position comfortable for Superman? Logically that seems like it would have to be part of it.

This whole thing was halfway interesting to see exactly one time on the day it went around, and everything relating to it since then has been a desperate attempt to keep tapping the balloon in the air.

This is so we have some context when there are names like Gornalak in the Epstein files.

(About to get in my time machine to do The Thing) Hold up, hold up, hold up.

Find you a surgeon who wrecks you.

Unfortunately we can no longer fire Nazis because they make so much money off of being fired.

The biggest problem the world faces is that a lot of good people are bad people.

How I train my dragon is, frankly, none of your business.

Therapy is good, it’s helped me. I also think if you lack awareness, you can use it to become your worst self

At this rate everyone is going to die eventually.

I’m so uninterested in everything on TV right now that I’ve literally started reading novels.

Every other team at halftime when I played soccer at a school called I. Weiner.

Andrew schulz looks like a mix between a Jewish guy from the 40s and the nazi who killed him

The thing that’s funny about most photoshop jokes is that somebody took a stupid idea seriously enough to invest the time to make it. If you use A.I. it’s just like, yeah, I guess that’s what that would look like.

Name one thing not to understand about this.

“Enigmas never age,” is such a weird thing to write that I genuinely don’t think anyone could have come up with it as a forgery.

Ghislaine: For your birthday, I compiled a book of personalized letters from dozens of your closest pedophiles! Next Guy (got him an Instant Pot): damn…

We’re now in the “walls are closing in on Trump” part of the story arc that always happens right before there are still no political or legal consequences. We’re all going to die before he does.