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HOT older men in YOUR area want to know if YOU have been playing with the THERMOSTAT?

I moved to Braintree over twenty years ago from Epping and had always felt a little sad about it, until recently, seeing that cunts are everywhere, however nice your town is.

As a smoker, it is somewhat ridiculous that my main objection to vaping is that it feels like a watered down, lack of commitment. Like getting a henna tattoo on holiday.

21's graduation today, which will be proud and expensive.

21's graduation today, which will be proud and expensive.

You know, if they want me to hate Hunter, they need to stop him talking and being so open and honest and frankly quite cool about it all.

I'll tell you one thing, people that work in Argos fucking hate when you call them Argonauts.

Hard to place, slightly meaty, with notes I cannot place.

Father of the year, again.

To be clear this man, who happily stated he was fascist, claims his views are 'traditional right wing'...

Can you imagine how terrifying it must have been to be friends with Michael Madsen?

I'd love to have a go at this with my strimmer.

A sibling called what now?

I am willing to bet that after about fifteen minutes, the Pied Piper of Hamelin massively regretted having to look after all those children.

Sometimes I sit and muse how the atmosphere must have been at Wilkinson Sword the day they decided to strictly focus on razor blades and not swords.

To be honest, for someone who doesn't seem to be trying very hard, she's getting a lot of purchase.

19 knocked out a frankly astonishing chicken pie for dinner.

Best I can offer is badly bruised toe from stubbing it on the sofa leg.

How my afternoon feels... open.spotify.com/track/7wLeaevW…

why does this guy look like hes about to open a shop in my town that sells items that fulfill the townspeoples deepest darkest desires, but come at a terrible cost?