Sam 🎴

its probably my ultimate goal in life to have an interview done of me that has this exact caption

Joey ramone and his cat

Tony soprano singing Steely Dan?! It's like my two favorite things hooked up and made a baby unicorn that shoots rainbows out of its butt!

asking my mailman if hes seen any good stamps lately

I would hate to draw the ire of a comedian or a humorist, due to their caustic wit and biting satire

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary The pain never end's

(cat goodfellas) there was Petey Pawprint.. Joey Fuzzypaws... and Johnny Meow, who was called that because all he said was "meow"

comedy central? thats what i call my house

Becoming retro is basically the only sensible thing for man to do these days

Doing a drive by to Ana Ng

your serve bro... (leaning in closer) bro your serve is fierce as fuck today

playing a gentle melody on a pan flute and my falcon swoops in to perch on my shoulder

i live in Fiendix, Scaryzona

The southern part of my island has been conquered by natural forces

my name is gord and i work at the cheese sandwich shop

(having my enemy over) can i get you anything? coffee, tea, my blade..

Once you had #patrickdoran they'll be no other man.

this is the worlds most expensive root beer, its imported from paris and it costs $1500

getting my butt rubbed on at tesla diner