Petri
@HeyImPetrified
Pronounced (pet-tree). I am not a piece of laboratory equipment. 80% of my tweets are satirical so please save your death threats
Have we tried telling developing nations to stop being so poor yet? Like um, stop doing that
You ever just dump a bunch of chorizo in a skillet and dip your fried tortilla in the goods
Then as it was, then again it will be. Though the course may change sometimes rivers always reach the sea
What y’all know about endless cocktails and dancing alone in an empty house
“Alcoholic” No, I’m just a man who likes a drink. Keep your peer reviewed, neurological brain studies away from me you freak
3 separate species of large bugs have crawled over me tonight and I’m proud to say I’ve held it together. I’m afraid I’m about to lose my man card and scream if one more touches me though
So goodbye, so long, the road calls me my dear. And your tears can’t bind me anymore
My DM fees have finally been posted. Please check bio for details
Remembering that time my friend had a warrant and was driving around town on his rims sparks flying
I’m a male feminist. Ask me anything! Besides the color of my panties
I’d be the coolest one on this app by far if I had some self respect
The people constantly posting about Epstein remind me of the high school drop outs who latch onto every single conspiracy theory because they are insecure about their intelligence