John Kennedy
@FrazzleMyGimp
listen to my podcast the link is below
Once i figure out how to articulate my thoughts you guys are fucked
(Before blowing my brains out in an insomnia cookies) hear ye hear ye
[cloud watching] GIRLFRIEND: That one looks like a ring. ME: I think it looks like two people taking it slow despite the pregnancy.
Without Minnesota Somalians I wouldn’t have an 8U Maplewood soccer tournament trophy fuck you matt Walsh
The real conversation that should come out of this week is why places like Minnesota are importing Somalians en masse. Somalia is one of the most impoverished and dysfunctional countries in the history of the planet. Somalian immigrants bring poverty and dysfunction everywhere…
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
30 buff niggas. 12 niggas who do nyaope. 18 sprinters. 5 regular niggas who work a 9-5. 8 white guys from Benoni. 1 madala with a whip. 6 Zulu taxi drivers. 5 Pedis. 9 guys who work at Build It or CashBuild and Me. And you’re telling me we’re not definitely defeating the Gorilla?
ME: Can I buy you a drink? HER: I have a boyfriend. ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.
They should finish the Alec Baldwin movie but after the scene where the incident happened he should have a banana gun the rest of the movie
When i was 10 i was playing club penguin at the library and i joined a random igloo. There were two penguins in there and they were like “this is private get out” and i was like “okay sry lol” but what if they were like CIA and KGB guys discussing stuff so their emails don’t leak
Mom: did you get an A on your spanish test Me: C Mom: okay mr mexico 🤩
Had a whopper last night and woke up with a bacterial sinus infection
every two years tiger woods either wins a golf thing or crashes his car and dies
Parking in New York blows. You’ll think you finally found a good spot and there will be a paper sign stapled to a tree like “no parking. Jimmy Buffett is filming ninja turtles 8 on this block tomorrow”
Me: can I use the bathroom McDonald’s employee: yes Me: do I have to buy anything Employee: nah you’re good Me: oh cool thanks Employee: no worries man (Fade to reality) Emt doing chest compressions on me: don’t go into that bathroom John