Smells Like Teen Statism

MC Hammer is yelling at me for trashing Hegel. How's your day going?

sink drain in the guest bath is clogged. Creeping fascism??

I used a twist tie on hand-picked flowers in high school, and this was related back to me as embarrassing by a friend, when I found much later that it was endearing to her, and this confusion led to the one that got away.

This is probably going to be a weird tweet… But I just had an odd moment that just hits different. See these batteries? They needed to go into that flashlight… No big deal right? Yet these batteries have a story. I was on Camp Leatherneck and was providing the base security…

*A canon lawyer awakens at 3 AM in a cold sweat*

Gm--go to church

Here’s another thing about Canada - money isn’t real here. You look at the price tag and it’s like WOAH THATS EXPENSIVE but then you remember it’s priced in fake Canadian money and when you get the credit card statement and see the price in real money it isn’t that bad.

Finally, a gorillas in the mist story about alienated libs

Once the devil said to a priest: "If there were three men like thee, my kingdom would be ruined!" The whole of France came to him. He could read souls, he fought demons and lived on one boiled potato a day. This is the astonishing life story of St. Jean-Marie Vianney - a🧵✝️

Every time I see a picture of John Brennan I think, “Now there’s a guy who doesn’t get enough fiber in his diet.”

Weeeeeeeeelllll.....

Dudes rock

I just blocked Gork. Good night.

Name your favorite persecuted person who did nothing wrong

Could just replace every name with, "U mad, bro?"

Is that....... Could it be???? It's Ozzy Osbourne!!! With a steel chair!!!!!! 😜🤣

I'm not shitting you, I would have laid myself upon railroad tracks to stop Biden had he reversed EPA regs on 5 gallon gas cans

An Evangelical friend asked me if I ever baptize non-Catholics. "Technically, I only baptize non-Catholics."

Please pray