BeTraumaFree
@BeTraumaFree
This is where I document my recovery from complex trauma. How did I do it? Therapy with a licensed trauma therapist for 5 years. (IFS and EMDR).
I was traumatized when I was very young. I spent my entire life dissociated, disconnected, anxious and depressed. I wanted to feel better but nobody was able to help. Eventually I connected the dots and realized the suffering I experienced had a name and it was "complex trauma".
Reposting this because a complete breakdown is life changing. There is no "coping" or "powering through" or "getting by with positive thinking". Your life as you knew it is over and you are forced to build a new, healthier life.
When you have a complete mental or emotional breakdown, it is like hitting a wall at full speed. You collapse, and you are not getting up. Damage is done. There is no return to "business as usual". My breakdown was so severe I had to take early retirement from my career. #cPTSD
"Remember who you are"
A powerful, underappreciated trauma & addiction recovery tool is a home or sleeping environment that is comfortable & contains reminders of who we are, our purpose, our values, our heroes, & our inspiration. Make whatever space you have into your emotional & spiritual home base.
Do you tend to over explain? I do. I have often experienced (in real life conversation) people misunderstanding or not "getting the gist" of what I'm trying to express. This led to me trying to be super careful of every word I speak. Maybe this is an autism thing, I'm not sure.
If you're in the orbit of someone manipulative, emotionally dysregulated, abusive, and draining… What are the chances you're really living your best life?
For years I tried new age healing techniques. They never worked for me because what I actually needed was trauma therapy. I needed a healed nervous system and a functioning Window of Tolerance. Now, after five years of trauma therapy I can use these wonderful techniques.
when triggered to worry Replace it with imagining healing that trauma based trigger. Explore the source and the lesson.
Things you should stop doing: - Overthinking - Putting yourself down - Living in the past - Thinking of the worst scenarios
"We are weaving the future on the loom of today." ~ Grace Dawson
💜 WE are all still learning including professionals. 💜
After a year of trauma therapy I woke up one morning and I felt ...different. I realized the heavy burden of anxiety and negative thoughts were gone! I made my coffee peacefully without horrible thoughts tormenting me. I thought: "Is this what normal people feel like?"
I'm slowly discovering that there are people out there who wake up in the morning and just live. They don't experience crippling depression, anxiety, panic attacks, de-realisation, dissociation or grapple with existential nihilism. They just get up and live. How wild is that?!
When you focus on problems, they multiply. When you focus on possibilities, opportunities grow.
I'm not against psych meds. I have been on anti-depressants. Whatever works to reduce your suffering is good and if meds help, that's great. I do believe that ideally people can eventually wean off all psych meds when they feel better.
How do we create more "depression" to sell more drugs? We get you to not trust your emotions. Judge them. Even fear them. This will ensure we have more people depressed, anxious and dependent upon our product. Part 3 of my FDA panel presentation.
I have two relatives who repeatedly made suicide threats to loved ones for years, causing emotional harm. Both of them are still alive. Susan Forward wrote a book about this: "Emotional Blackmail: When the people in your life use fear, obligation and guilt to manipulate you"
Suicidal ideation, both passive & active, is this phantom hanging around the lives of many trauma survivors that we often don't dare talk about-- because we don't want to alarm, upset, or activate people in our lives who don't understand what it does & doesn't mean.
It must be nice to have such a perfect life. I've lived a life of trauma from birth and it caused me to significantly lower my expectations. Even so, I'm feeling blessed to be healing and every day I find small things to be grateful for, despite my very "not perfect" life.
Guy who has a job he loves, a significant other, plentiful savings, contributes to his retirement fund, lives in walkable city, hangs out with his friends on the weekends, keeps in touch with his loving family, travels internationally 1-2 times a year, and exercises regularly
I was so sick with complex trauma in 2019 I could barely read a paragraph, let alone a book. I had terrible brain fog. I had been a very determined and self sufficient person my entire life but in 2019 I could barely decide what to eat for lunch. I shuffled around like a zombie.
Recovery from cPTSD is weird because you feel well enough to step out of your comfort zone and try enjoyable new things ... but those new activities are stressful and that makes you feel bad. Ugh! Recovery comes with its own unique challenges.