Zach Zimmerman

my debut stand-up special is out NOW - someone commented it's amazing, someone else commented I seem like a whiner -- watch and decide!

I was talking to my friend about the new show I’m working on (tomorrow at Union hall, some tickets left) and said “I found a theme to unite it cause I don’t just want to do an hour of jokes, ya know?” and he said “totally, because who would want to see a hour of jokes”

uber had a dog. every uber should come with a dog.

it sucks that creative breakthroughs can't really be communicated -- you'll find this incredible connection or theme or moment, and when you try to tell someone about it, you say "it's about words"

falling in love will have you believing in god

George Santos shares farewell post before going to prison for 87 months starting tomorrow: “I may be leaving the stage (for now), but trust me legends never truly exit. 💋🇺🇸 ✨”

Now?? Damn. This is just like when they wrote about Pickleball two months after I gave up sucking pickleball rackets

CULTURAL WARNING: the New Yorker has written about sniffies

weed and shroom companies are targeting comedians and let me just say the volume of free weed and shroom products ive been sent could send me to literal heaven back to literal hell round-trip 17x

“just giving this a friendly bump” sorry im off coke right now

tell men "no" and get ready for a show

I asked my barber for a discount after 7 years and it didn’t go well

Attached should replace Algebra in the schools

this is so funny

you die young or live long enough to become the villain (posting matter of fact tweets about having sex)