UglyLoserGeek
@zaetrue
I am I. So it goes. 34 and Useless.
I will never begin to be able to express how much I Ioved this Grey Boi. The hours of joy cuddled up watching anime, cinema, and letting me read him while curled up in my lap. The last 8 years have been filled with love from this boy.
I know I should get out of bed But being curled up Crying With cat Missing my our boy Feels like all I can do
Falling in the gym Because you start crying Felt shitty But getting a flat tire Because some almost hit you Right before your exit Feels like Im less than zero.
Only thing on my mind How I won’t feel this When I get home after work.
I made it through work And yet Im dreading my weekend Being home Sounds like its gonna hurt So fucking much I am just sitting in my car Afraid of all the crying.
Every time I think I’ll be okay I break Into tiny pieces Im so thankful To be halfway through work But I don’t know If being home This weekend Will help I can only think About his absence. I an Ugly Loser Geek Who felt happy Because of his Boy.
Sleep used to be easy I only lucid dream And explore worlds Of my making Every night But without my boy I find only hurt when I close my eyes. I wallow in darkness With thoughts Of holding him That last time And I wake To weep.
Coming home After one the hardest days of work And not being greeted by my boy Was devastating Im so lucky My tux princess Knows im not ok And came to comfort me.
Its humbling For all the Love Support Understanding Time I give To others. While in this moment I need Love Support Understanding Time Most of you Are nowhere. This I will never forget.
Sleep could barely find me Without my boy in my arms My only thoughts Of holding him That last time. I a shell today. I speak I walk I work. But I am not here.
This hurts me to realize I am a total loser I have almost no friends And now I without the one I spend the most time with.
I didn’t know I could cry this much. I have no idea how Im gonna sleep And be at work Tomorrow.
I cannot stop crying. I don’t know how to be ok Or how I will get through the night Without him in my arms. Like every night for the last eight years. The only one who loved to hear me sing My beautiful grey boy is gone.
I just said goodbye To my beautiful grey boy I am holding my tux princess Closer. I may never recover from this. Thanks to the few people on here Who have shown me love. I am broken.