CAPITOLSQUIRREL
@txcapsquirrelz
just squirrelin’ around the #txlege #deez TREEHOUSE LAW GRAD 🤣🐿️ PINK DOME APPRECIATOR
AND HE IZ FAMILIAR WIT "HOME WRECKERZ" TOO, MIGHT I ADD? #txlege
Ever wonder how @kenpaxtontx was able to afford so many houses on a government salary? By cheating the system and breaking the law. Learn more at CrookedKen.com
KNEW I SAW CAPRESE BOLOGNA AT MY SIDE HUSTLE, MAGIK MIKE SHOW DOWN ON DIRTY 6 WHEN HE SHOULD HAV BEEN PASSIN LEGIZLATION, 3 SEVERAL MONTHZ AGO. #txlege
AINT NUTTIN SPECIAL ABOUT DIS SESSION, CUZ ONLY COLD PLAYS ARE HAPPENING. #txlege
LMFAO HAVE U MET PAUL CHADWICH WILBANKS😭💀 #txlege
It’s always the ones you least expect
DIS DIDNT AGE WELL. #txlege #iykyk
It’s always the ones you least expect
another CEO / HR meme😬. my apologies but it had to be done. #EliminatePropertyTax
WHAT IF I WUZ? DIS MY WIFE DOE, I DONT HAVE A SANCHA. #txlege #wifey
Please tell me you weren’t at a Coldplay concert…
WUZ HIBERNATIN BEFORE SPECIAL STARTS ON MONDAY BUT DIS WOMAN DISTURBED DA PEACE OF ME N MY SEXY SQUIRRELZ. SENDING SERGEANT AT ARMZ AUSTIN 2 FIND U N REPRIMAND U FOR DIS ATROCITY. #txlege
I DENOUNCE UR RENOUNCEMENT. MY ALBINO QUEEN IZ RITE HERE WIT ME N ALWAYS HAZ BEEN. DIDNT @matthewBlakeB ALSO SAY NO MORE WARZ. WHAT IZ HAPPENING, DONT MAKE ME HAVE A HUDA CRASHOUT CUZ I WILL #txlege
SHAME ON U @txcapsquirrelz. U MADE A SACRED VOW 2 OUR ALBINO QUEEN. I RENOUNCE U, ON BIBLICAL GROUNDS #TXLEGE
CONVINCED HOT WHEELZ JUST LIKES MAKING US ALL SUFFER. HE MUST HAVE A TORTURE KINK. ENOUGH WITH DIS. #txlege
🎤 “Hello #txlege my old friend I’ve come to legislate again”
PLZ GET DIS MAN ANUTTER SEVVIE. HE IZ ONE OF MY FAVE FOLLOWERZ #txlege
@3SeveralDays my mom told Me I’d never win a sevvie when I was in 3rd grade, and I did. Now my mom is setting the bar high for a repeat sevvie award. I just need your support Rep. Brisket @BriscoeCain please help me win again 😭😭😭
DA SUPPOSED HOT NEW BOMBSHELL THAT ENTERED DA VILLA⬇️ MY NAME IS TXCAP SQUIRREL, IM 22 YEARZ OLD, N I WORK IN DA TX LEGE. HERE 2 EXPLORE CONNECTIONZ AKA B A LIL PHILANDERIN SQUIRREL 🐿️ #txlege
DIS WEEK, A HOT NEW BOMBSHELL ENTERS THA VILLA #TXLEGE
AS LONG AS DA NEW BOMBSHELL DOESNUT HAVE A HURRICANE HUDA CRASHOUT WE WILL B OKAY.
DIS WEEK, A HOT NEW BOMBSHELL ENTERS THA VILLA #TXLEGE
DIS IS DA OFFICIAL DECREE DAT I SQUIRRELED OUT OF PAXTONS OFFICE. GOD BLEZZ #txlege
DID NUT C DIS COMING BUT WISH MIZZ ANGELA DA BEST. #txlege
Today, after 38 years of marriage, I filed for divorce on biblical grounds. I believe marriage is a sacred covenant and I have earnestly pursued reconciliation. But in light of recent discoveries, I do not believe that it honors God or is loving to myself, my children, or Ken to…
COMMISH N TODD R BEACHIN IT UP. REMINDZ ME OF MY VACATION DAT I TOOK BACK IN JUNE. WONDERIN IF THEY FOUND ANY OF DA ACORNZ I HID ALONG DA BEACH.
Had a great time this past week catching up with the Dean of the Gulf Coast himself, @toddahunter! It’s always a pleasure to visit the coast and talk with one of Texas’ strongest advocates for our coastal communities. 🦪🌊
SEVS GOTTA RECANIZE A YUNG KING WIT A BIG HEART. @Eloy_Barrera_Jr IS THA #1 #TXLEGE OFFICE MANAGER N ITS NOT PARTICULARLY CLOSE. ALWAYZ GOIN HARD 4 HIS PEEPS: Z, THA INTERNS, JORGE N CREW... U ALREADY KNO. DEFINITION OF A REAL ONE. THEREFORE, B IT RESOLVD, HE A #SEVVIE WINNER🏆