Top Gear Quotes

Thanks for everything @JeremyClarkson @RichardHammond @MrJamesMay #TheGrandTour #TopGear

Tonight, I point at some fields. Richard minces round a corner. And James describes his ideal night in. Vomit and sputum, and other bodily secretions. #TopGear

And I must say, I have to say this, a great drive from you. Thank you. It really was. The press were less kind, I must admit. I've got a cutting here, Top Gear presenter struggles at Snetterton. That is just so unfair! #TopGear

Jeremy, meanwhile, had become desperate. Would you sell me your car? Can I buy your car? Sell me your car! Please!! #TopGear

The police in Hampshire are running an advert of a jolly policeman in his tall hat and they’ve put it on the back of a bus. And it’s fine, except for where the bus’s exhaust pipe is… #TopGear

So there we are. What we can deduce here is the GERMAN-made hatchback - the GERMAN-made hatchback - has exploded. And all the BRITISH-made sports cars are working perfectly. Hang on. What? It won't start. Oh! #TopGear

It looks so comical in fact, that when he was going round the Hammerhead coming up now, you can actually hear the cameraman burst out laughing at it. #TopGear

Well, I have to say... credit where credit's due. You don't deserve any. #TopGear

You spend half an hour talking to a man, telling him where you were born, how many children you've got, where you live, what your post code is, and then he says, "Is a Bugatti a Rover?" Well, they quoted me miserable there. #TopGear

Now, you may remember, a couple of years ago, we were contacted by a German car programme, asking us to boost their ratings. You mean "take us on in a series of motoring-related challenges". Yes, that. #TopGear

I can't stand this stupid clothing that makes this rustling noise. I hate the zips and the toggles and all the pockets and that. And I hate your stupid truck. Listen, if we make it, you will be the first person to go to the North Pole who DIDN'T want to be there. #TopGear

Let’s sing a song. No! #TheGrandTour

Oh no, there's no space for the time… #TopGear

Mind you, compared to Jeremy's design flaw... Ahh! Ohh! Ahh!! Oh, my God! No! This is terrifying. I can't begin to describe what this feels like. #TopGear

Did you pick up one of those, what are they called, collision damage waiver forms? No, I picked up six! #TopGear

Richard, the Americans are good at herding bison. The end. #TopGear

Try again

This has a top speed and I know this 'cause I've done it, of 1 million mph. A million! #TopGear

On the underground, Stig had noticed that many of his fellow passengers were holding on to strange things. And so, at the next station, he decided he should have one, too. #TopGear

Australian authorities are going to get tough on boozed up fans at the Bathurst Motor Race. Well, I say motor race, it's actually a fight between rival gangs of Ford + GM supporters. They say each fan is going to be limited to just 24 cans of lager each per day. #TopGear

We were now in Dorset just a few miles from the site and back on single carriageways, which meant it was business as usual behind us. I've just seen the queue as we came off the roundabout. I can't live with the shame! #TopGear