Tom & Marty's
@tomandmartys
Best bar in America. Worst golf picks in the world.
God? Knapp NEEDS one more birdie before he gets to 18. Come on god, I don’t ask for much. I mean, I do, but you never give me jack shit. So help a brother out.
A win this week would make Akshay Bhatia yet another American who deserves to be on the Ryder Cup over Patrick Cantlay who won’t.
I’m not saying I once bought crystal meth at a truck stop in Kansas from Jake Knapps caddy. I am saying that the guy I once bought some crystal meth off of at a truck stop in Kansas looks just like Jake Knapp’s caddy.
That Scotch Blue painter’s tape ad is the greatest lie ever told on tv ever.
Ah, never mind. This round has left me too deflated to muster the energy to throw my cat out the window if Knapp misses this putt.
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Was gonna let the staff do it, but taking an hour off from golf to do some power washing. Knapp has me rattled.
Knapp looks a little tight. Seeing the whole field go low before you tee off does that. If I were his caddy I’d make him shotgun a beer. Probably for the better I’m not his caddy.
If Knapp makes this birdie putt I’m going outside and giving the first hobo I see $100.
If Knapp doesn’t birdie 1 I’m going to quickly spiral into a pit of self-recrimination and loathing.
Let me give women everywhere some relationship advice: If you are looking for a way to keep your husband happy, like TRULY happy, buy him a good power washer, 3000 psi minimum. Trust me. No man would ever consider cheating if he knows he has a quality power washer to come home to
Drink choice of the weekend: Watching golf in the beautiful state of Minnesota requires drinking the finest thing Minnesota has ever produced, not counting Prince. All together now: “From the land of the sky blue waters…”
What if I told you that THIS guy was having the best non-Scottie tee to green week on tour this year and that his only problem is that he’s had like 10 putts lip out so far? You’d POUND him! What I’m saying is, Jake Knapp is gonna have a day today. Knapp nation, LET’S RIDE!!!
