Sovey

You Can’t Outsource Sovereignty. America doesn’t run on social media. It runs on calories. And without control over our food system, we lose control over everything else. Right now, food security is treated like an agricultural issue. It’s not. It’s national security. Always…

If you hear a noise at 2am, don’t worry. That’s just me teaching the shadows how to curtsy. Sweet dreams.

Herpes is 124% more prevalent in gay men. I’ve officially settled the debate if Harry is straight or not. You’re welcome.

Just remember: the more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Eat dessert. Don’t get kidnapped.

If zombies attack, go to Costco. There are cement walls, years worth of food, and tons of supplies. Plus, zombies can’t get in without memberships.

When I d!e, I want my bestie to have my phone and text everyone during the funeral "wow, its really dark inside here."

Small accounts are not recognized as often as they should be but they are truly the life force of this app. And these 20 have been super supportive of my content and podcast. Here’s only a few (wish I could add more) and in no particular order.

NEW DISCOVERY: Historians Confirm Ancient Civilizations Also Had Taco Tuesdays; Archaeologists Blame Lesbians Archaeologists say they’ve uncovered undeniable proof that ancient civilizations celebrated Taco Tuesday, a weekly ritual devoted entirely to tacos and the women who…

Now that I’m an adult, I finally realized my mom was right: we do have food at home.

To combat the rising costs of medical tests, here’s an affordable alternative: Pee under a tree and wait. If ants gather → diabetes If the grass dries up → high salts If it smells like BBQ → high cholesterol If you forget to pull up your pants → Alzheimer’s You’re welcome.

Have you ever wondered what the guy who discovered milk was doing to the cow to discover it?

When I finally snap, it will be after I tried to type my email address on the TV with the remote. Again.