blob ross 🌱

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak

god grant me the serenity to not surrender to his "I miss you" text amen 😣

its 4:39pm and I havent gotten out of bed yet. not even hungover! just lazy

#jugsoutjuly lmao

this creature is simply not real. what do you mean. she looks like she has one eyebrow

Im suuuuch a wedding crier at the best of circumstances but this one got me like 8 separate times❤️😭 true love IS real nobody give up

will these work as pasties

drank 4 negronis on an empty stomach in honor of Bourdain

the INSIDE part? tell him we're here

I can sense the body language of someone who is about to try and show me a tiktok and it sends me into fight or flight mode

if my car's A/C shits out before I drive two hours with 90°F forecast tomorrow in full wedding-guest dress/hair/makeup I am going to be so incredibly displeased

wait sorry this is funnier

for someone who loves food I seem to really hate eating lately

they dont want you to know this but American Spirits actually make you live longer

does anyone want to come over and do this to me

generals gathered in their massesssss just like black cats at witch massessss

share the front and back of your credit card using only numbers

so the FCC wont let me be