heather
@prettyalbatross
Insofar As So Far
everybody thinks their city is the most full of emotionally maladroit adult children
hello college student services desk. this is my id yes that is my "real photo" yes that is my "real name" anyway here is the $7,000 i owe you. see you next year.
they tell me i smell like "bagels, coffee, and cigarettes," which is "not normal for a human being"
(writing an instagram reels caption attempting to work the terms "labubu," "matcha," "manipulator" and "kafka" into as few characters as possible) i've got my finger on the pulse of america, man... im like, a cultural critic or something.....
expressing queer joy in front of a police officer and getting shot for resisting
this 5’11” shit is for the birds. average white chranny height. i wish i were four inches shorter or taller. there are no erotics in making eye contact at eye level.
oh that's interesting. i do not trust men who can't smile at me in a tired, fatherly manner
i do NOT trust men who - drink matcha or boba tea - listen to kpop/clairo/sabrina carpenter - collect labubus - post pictures with their cats - thrift
the thing about the word "interpersonal" is that once you start using it, you can't stop
Hey so I actually have a chance to get a place lol!!!! Final time I ever have to ask for help I hope!!!
i love this type of guy btw. they always tip well and smile at me which is maybe even more important
(CUTTING SOCIAL COMMENTARY INCOMING) does anyone else find it funny how males will be manipulative and drink matcha and read infinite jest? like ok what's next do you listen to clairo? (CUTTING SOCIAL COMMENTARY OVER) hope nobody's feelings were hurt by this!
going to start saying "i recently read something" when i'm referencing a tweet
Yes! I recently read that IF a zoomer answers the phone they don’t say anything. They wait for the caller to speak first. Is this true 😭
