swamp hag 🔮🌸☕️🐰✨
@potatoslav
rachel | jersey🇺🇸 ➡️ germany🇩🇪 (not berlin) | cool mom 😎 | AC enthusiast | i’m probably joking ✨🌙 links 👇🏻 http://potatoslav.bsky.social 🦋
getting in shape after a baby is easy if you don’t have a car. 14lbs of baby strapped to my chest, another 15 on my back of groceries and other shit i’m schlepping around. who needs the gym?
before i became a parent i was completely unaware that i would need to fart the baby. everyone talks about burping but no one mentions the farting.
your friendly neighborhood goth mom outfit of the day
Tea is now the number one app on the App Store Tea is a women-only app where users anonymously share info and warnings about men to spot red flags and get feedback.
Tea is now the number one app on the App Store Tea is a women-only app where users anonymously share info and warnings about men to spot red flags and get feedback.
this is just shift work. only normie office jobs get a nice 5 day work week.
The Soviets abolished weekends. Instead they created a rolling 5 day week so that factories were always open. Workers would get time off on different days so they couldn't be sure their day off would overlap with that of their spouse or friends. eyeondesign.aiga.org/a-failed-sovie…
and they marry each other 🖤
You can either be a person who makes various appointments with various doctors for the various persistent aches in your body or you can be a person who just says I’m Gonna Have A Lot Wrong With Me Forever & gives up
baby crying. see my husband on the monitor showing him something on his phone. baby stops crying. i walk in and peek over. he was showing him pictures of me 🥹🥹🥹
always love it when the “girls with septum piercings and tattoos are ugly” tweets go viral bc i get to go thirst follow all the girls that quote tweet it with pictures of themselves
Euros are actually extremely bad at spotting Americans. I have been asked if I was Swedish, French, Ukrainian, etc. multiple times in Germany. My in laws cab driver asked them if they were British and they both have heavy New York accents.
“You can always spot Americans in foreign countries” Yeah man you blend right in at Yellowstone with your child’s medium Armani Exchange shirt, skin tight capri length jorts, and Pumas