бека

7:56 on a Friday night. I’m about to take a shower that lasts the entire length of the self titled Libertines album. Then I’ll go to sleep.

You know you’re chopped when you go to Brandy Melville and the African uncs check you out

Did everyone just forget that it was a hampstery blonde summer ?

Names for my son: - Clyle - GZA - Peabody - Woody - Ohdeebee

Told my mom about my weekend plans

My father is bald so I’ll never date a bald man. Out of respect.

Chinese borat : “Very rice!”

Ovulating

Every time I have to jerk the plastic off an English cucumber I make sure to say Ayo pause.

I hope my pet frog Alvin grows large so I can put a watch on him like a collar and take him in the q train with me

Every few weeks someone tells me that I’m one of the most interesting people that they’ve met

The Hasidic Horse pays its respect to Hulk Hogan. HH x HH

This is what they took from us

The shiksas will run out of money and I Will Rule Over Them

Getting into calling guys “playboy”

Can’t even wear a striped tshirt without someone calling you The Hamburgler

Some girls look like they’re going to basketball practice when they do a ponytail. No matter how old they are. Terminal high school athlete physiognomy

I wish they’d let me smoke inside at work

This is what I’m wearing to the Hamptons