Paul Eggleston
@pauleggleston
I still haven't found my 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' CD. Oh wait, there it is, under my 'Whoomp! (There It Is)' CD...
[Scooby Doo at an interview] Interviewer: May I see your CV? Scooby: *hands CV over* Rrres you may! Interviewer: Round here we call it a CV.
Just finished a book about a bloke trying to stay afloat after falling in the river. Gripping reed...
I'm so tired today. I was up most of last night jumping over lamps and lanterns. But to be honest I've always been a bit of a lights leaper.
Today I retired on medical grounds from my job striking church bells with my patellas at funerals. I was a knee motion knell wreck.
People think the only audition I've ever done was for the 'Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves' singer's musical version of Pygmalion, but I've done more than My Fair Cher.
Reed Richards from the Fantastic Four has got a job as a Greeter at my local supermarket. He's not allowed to use his superpowers, but he's very good. He welcomes everyone without stretched arms.
I've had to crop this VERY SEXY photo for reasons of decorum. But if you want to see MORE... Book your tickets now!!! regalstowmarket.co.uk/RegalStowmarke…
What better way to persuade you to come and see Miscast Musicals than creating a disturbing / sinister looking gif of me singing at band call this morning!!! Get your tickets here, yo. regalstowmarket.co.uk/RegalStowmarke…
👏MARVEL at my Catherine of Aragon in 'Six'. 😱GASP as I engage my best pout and dance around a chair as a sultry murderess in 'Cell Block Tango'. 😍WONDER as I 'Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair' in a costume best described as... a little bit sexy. regalstowmarket.co.uk/RegalStowmarke…
My wife and I met at a 'Make a Jelly in the Shape of a US President' class, and I knew she was the one, from the moment I set Eisenhower.
The first Norman King of England carried a large percussive disc everywhere with him, leading to him becoming known as 'William the Gong Courier'.
Yo, yo, yo! Come and see this super talented cast! And I'm in it too! Hark, hear me sing in such numbers as 'Six', 'Cellblock Tango', 'Gonna Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair' and 'You Love Who You Love'! Get your tickets now!!! 🕺🎶 x.com/StowmarketODS/…
From Matilda to Motown... Hamilton to Hairspray... Six to South Pacific... you'll love every minute of our exciting and unique take on the world of musical theatre! 🎶 Tickets are available NOW: regalstowmarket.co.uk/RegalStowmarke… #Stowmarket #Suffolk #EastAnglia #musicaltheatre #musicals
[Library] - I'd like to borrow the biography of the man who discovered electromagnetic induction. - Faraday? - I was thinking more like a fortnight.
How I describe my missing seat could be influenced by inherent traits *or* environmental factors. It's nay chair versus no chair.
My new business, making oversized feline access flaps and extra-strong toupee glue, is attracting interest from lots of industry fat cats and bigwigs.