Bottom Official
@official_bottom
100% official* Bottom Quotes from the greatest show on earth. *100% 'non' official. 🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧
“Is that a police chopper?” “No, I just think one of thems just left his truncheon sticking out the door. Yeah, look, it's got a side handle.”
“I've got to get into my kitchen. Here's a can of spray snow, you make everything look all Christmassy, I'll go and scrub my sprouts.” “I thought you were going to do some cooking?”
“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…Terry Hardacre…he is a maaaaaaad man. Unstoppable.”
“What's this?” “Elm tea. The gypsies swear by it.” “I bet they do, I bet they say "What the bloody hell's this?"
“You don't mean...” “Yes!” “A "see how much custard you can hold in your underpants" competition?”
“Well it's your fault for touching up the burly Ferris wheel attendant.” “I thought she was a girl.” “They were PECTORALS you fool!” “She had an earring.” “Yeah, through HER foreskin.”
“So, little baby. What might your little name be today?” “My little name's Kate today, same as it was yesterday.” “Hahahahahaaa. I say, what a lovely blouse. It's very special isn't it?”
“Eddie, are you packed?” “Certainly am, never had any complaints.” “No, I mean are you packed for the holiday?” “Yes, that as well.”
“You just sit down there young lady. I bought you a Coca-Cola in good faith. That's eighty pence you've hoodwinked out of me. Eighty pence. When I said "Hello my darling, would you like a Coca-Cola?" did you say "No thank you, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm a lesbian"?”