イデくん　of shtwt　！

⠀ idia he hym + minor tkn cw 120ish (no scale) 31in waist gw 100 27in waist did mdd gad sad + shtwt heavy ⠀

i want to eat more low cal food but i also know im autistic and use food as my comfort thats part of why im junkorexic

all i want is to die and i cant even do that if i cant get babey beans before bed i wont kill myself tonight because i need to know i can get to them new date would be aug 1 in that case

please god someone just tell me living is genuinely torture if i dont die tonight ill just stop fronting and go dormant i wont be around either way so just please let me die

im so scared to fail please someone tell me how deep i need to go on my neck to die i need you all to understand that if i fail this my life will literally be over

please god whoevers up there just strike me down so i dont have to fail being alive is only torture every single day all i want in this world is to die please

okay i hope this works its time for me to slit my throat

this is awkward and it hurts i wish i could just shoot myself i just want to die i dont want to deal with the act of doing it

im being a pussy because im not used to this but itll work this time i promise im not going to be a suibaiter anymore

how do you guys even cut vertically all the angles are so awkward

my best friend the yes / no wheel i made a while ago and am violently attached to said itd work so im gonna try it now

i need to stop worrying and try

im scared of failing i wish some sort of invisible place could kill you like inner thigh all i know is that its somehow Dangerous but not Fatal

okay i think ill start i cant give very frequent updates because i have to switch from my flashlight (i use a white screen as a flashlight to cut) to twt but ill try to give as many updates as i can

im stalling my arm cut not because i dont want to die but because im afraid of failure if i fail and someone sees itll be suicide in every way other than literal death

i always get uncomfortable sort of when i find out people i know have killed themselves i hope nobody feels that for me

i pressed down sort of lightly on the textured part of my tissue when cleaning my cuts and now it looks like a strawberry

mid styro no multiswipe i think we'll be okay

im gonna start with a quick thigh sesh just to double check if i can get deep then ill start

i might be dying fat but its okay because ill be rotting away my weight in the ground

i hope nobody goes through my exes phone if shes dead because idia not me idia other idia sent messages to his girlfriend calling her his pretty girl and saying he loved her and i dont want people thinkinf we were dating