Alice Mills

amzn.to/3ICbfh1 I released my first fiction book today. I will admit that it is full of wordplay…

Roman numeral pins are great, and I for one will continue to make them.

Phil Collins’ cat is apparently quite the musician. His biggest hit is ‘Take a look and meow.’

@Millsalice144 I'm grateful you chose me to be your book launch manager!

Please join my launch team! If you follow me for my puns, you will enjoy the read I promise.

Scientists have created a dolphin with legs. Animal rights groups want the legs removed. Scientists argue that would defeet the porpoise.

My physical therapist says I’m 120 percent better than when I started, but I think that’s a stretch.

Check out my guest appearance on the Purim Podcast with Zach and Elli Quiroz! Episode 12: Navigating the Rabbit Hole of Abuse with Alice Mills youtu.be/FMX_FMtfBNM?si… via @YouTube

Anyone that says animals can’t play sports hasn’t seen a fish bowl.

When I was a kid, I thought rich people had Bose systems and the rest of us had Sony’s. Turns out those were just stereotypes.

If women in Nepal prefer dogs, what can a cat man do?

i only type in lower case because i hate capitalism. karl marx

Last weekend I went to the Petrified Forest. Honestly, there was nothing to be scared of.

Who’s up for a puppet show without the puppets? Let’s see a show of hands…

A new strain of pesticide resistant lice has really left scientists scratching their heads.

Every day I try to figure out what I ran into. I call it ‘Bruise Clues.’

I asked the farmer for a dozen asparagus, but he gave me thirteen. It was a spare, I guess.

If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that’s gone wrong, I’m all ears.

It’s Amazon Prime Day. I bet they have a hard time dividing up the tasks.

In the hot summers, my duck often sings “Lean on Me” because its bill withers.