sykes

Getting into a groundhog day scenario and not realising for several months

At about 11am this morning my father died. I loved him very much. His name was David.

I would never stroop to your wafel

Hair long cos I get no trim

Just got fired in a sundress

My lore would make you sick and also it's off brand

you should be permanently banned from twitter if you do this shit even once and you should have to send a link to the original tweet you stole to every single person who liked your plagiarised version

Why is your media tab my husband's homepage?

Quitting my job to focus on Centrelink

I 100%ed my wife last night

asking the orphanage if they have any nepo babies

Buying extra golfing pants because I got a hole in one

You should be able to see the most famous person who liked your tweet

Adderall got me ranking my kids

I caused the male loneliness epidemic

Just invented the wheel independently but I'm being comparatively humble about it.

About to watch my favourite Greek film Megalopoulos

My heart will goon