michael 🙆🏻♂️ goldsmith
@mgoldsm
aspiring male novelist he/him [email protected]
an apron that says it’s not corning to you that i’m cobbing on business
[achilles’s bros gassing him up in the group chat] leg day dude you’re looking hella toned especially those heels dawg
listening, lerning
This is the premise for Ben Lerner's next novel, which is supposed to be out in April 2026
i’ve given it a lot of thought and am prepared to go on the record: soaking dishes in the sink is a bullshit cop out
parenting just an extended version of a self-inflicted “stop hitting yourself”
chunky hand painted farm stand sign advertising “bloobs” triggering my suicidal tendencies
people who use complicated wifi network passwords need to chill out my network password is the word breakfast
they should release the einstein files need to know more about what that mfer was up to
feel like i should be able to clean myself with a rock instead of soap is this not something the ancients did??
the beach house we’re renting has one of those pizza slicer roller utensils do you think i can get a pie delivered unsliced so i can fulfill a lifelong fantasy
tommy bahama is my father you can call me thomas bahamas