stef
@meritforsadness
Habitual line-stepper
The only Fourth of July I’m acknowledging today is the song by Fall Out Boy
Weighed myself before and after jerking off and the results may shock you.
Into the night, I shit and fart, anything to help my bowels go, bowels go
I don’t have it in me to argue back and forth with anyone over the internet. I’m going to find out where you live and take a shit on your doorstep.
It’s always “I want a man that can make me laugh, please be funny” but have you considered if I’m a multi millionaire? How about 8 inches and thick? How about talented? How about loving and respectful?
You got like one.. two.. fifty eleven times to get on my bad side but once you get on that bitch, it’s hard to get off
I should’ve been a divorced father of three listening to Breaking Benjamin by now but instead I’m here single and childless listening to Breaking Benjamin.
Me throwing a “cómo se dice” in casual conversation to appear bilingual
The older I get the more I understand why Serj cried when angels deserve to die
Although I’ve been sober from alcohol and don’t do drugs I could never claim edge because I’m addicted to bad bitches
My worst fear is having to use the handicap stall as a last resort and a disabled person is waiting for my able bodied ass to get off the shitter
I got the magic e-dick, I know if I can e-sex once, I can e-sex twice
I like that you exhibit your mental illness in the form of tweets, I like that about you
