Max

Bilbo's original book title was rejected by the publishers. #LOTR #LordOfTheRings #hobbit #angelalansbury

Je suis Monsieur Pompidou. @beansaladpod

I once had an open relationship with a fellow magician. We saw other people.

That superhero from Krypton is very generous with gifts. Largesse? And a big red cape too. #LunchPun

If I don't achieve worldwide fame, I'll just put a blue disc on the wall of my childhood home. It's my plaque up plan.

After investing my life savings in an undertakers for spiders, I'm worried I've put all my legs in one casket

Though they do vary, most prostate examinations are proctocally the same. #LunchPun

I will believe Paddington didn't steal the marmalade until a court says otherwise. Innocent until Peruvian guilty.

I once saw a flight attendant guzzling aftershave in an airport bar. Must have been off her trolley. #LunchPun

How does Robin know what Batman's thinking? Sidekick powers.

My attempt to beat coffee addiction never got off the ground. #LunchPun

My American niece does ballet, jazz and latin dancing, but her parents can't convince her to try tap. Force it? No, they call it the same thing.

open.spotify.com/episode/4lE1mZ… #kinokingdom #arkinzdar

What do you call a director who hasn't got a computer network in his studio? Christopher no LAN.

People think it's strange that as a child I as seared in fat at a high temperature, then simmered in a small amount of liquid in a pot. But that's just the way my parents braised me. #LunchPun

The first roll of flight club is a barrel.

My irrational fear of blank envelopes needs to be addressed.

I'll always sneak an ape into the conversation, gibbon the opportunity. #LunchPun

Someone asked me who suggested building a gambling city in Nevada, but I didn't have the Vegas idea.

The most common method of lawn maintenance is mowed.

My friend just sang a song about drinking whiskey in his small loft space. I thought 'That's a little dram attic'. #LunchPun