Mark Kaschak
@markkaschak
Hi, I'm Mark and I'm in my head way too much.
When you see “LTE” but you know there’s WiFi so you go into settings and the WiFi suddenly pops up, it’s like poking a sleeping security guard and then getting a status report like he wasn’t just not doing his job right in front of you.
Binge-watching clips of Shane Gillis hosting was the first I had ever heard of the ESPYs, and I remain unaware of a single award-winner aside from four-time All Star Brittany Hicks.
Here is my idea for @SeaOfThieves and the new Smuggler's Tide trading company. Currently after testing insiders the only reward you get out side of some commendations is gold and as we all know gold in Sea of Thieves has no purpose after a certain point. However... what if the…
The Vatican drone is going to have its own Twitter account within the hour #HabemusPapam
I injured my hand flossing yesterday. To answer your next question, does it really MATTER which kind?
The most unrealistic part of Get Out is the idea that a professional photographer would accidentally have his phone's flash on.
I WOULD say I'm "getting to that age now" where I have a favorite ballpoint pen but I've been madly in love with the Pilot G-2 for like twelve years already.
Look the only bits of the idea I have are the title "Avengietales" and the fact that Thanos is in the line of Cain. The rest is up to somebody with an actual budget.
As an American I'm not sure if it's a mercy or a cruelty that election years and Summer Olympic years are on the same schedule.
To the driver of the compensation-sized pickup truck with four tires in the back: That slightly recessed manhole cover is not going to damage your vehicle. You don't have to swerve around it. I'm sure of it.
In the #multiverse neither artist exists individually but rather is just one guy called Chance the Milker. @chancetherapper @MilkyChance
Me, a gigantic #Skate3 fan, seeing #JasonLee trending in negative fashion, panicking about what my boi Coach Frank could have possibly ever done to deserve such hate
Aiight so I guess "exclude from taste profile" was a lie... #SpotifyWrapped
Zach Benson might have just scored the best 1st NHL goal in league history.
Me: * accidentally opens InDesign file * "haha oops" * tries to X out of accidentally opened InDesign file * InDesign: "ey wuh- WOAH HEY, CAAAAREFUL! CAREful, idiot man! almost didn't save that file you maybe glanced at" @Adobe you gotta do something about this.
A confessional but when the light switches back to green it plays the sound of a toilet flushing.
It’s really cool that everyone here shares a “most toxic ex” ever since @elonmusk renamed Twitter.
Hypothetical forward lineup if the Sabres sign Patrick Kane: Skinner - Thompson - Tuch Peterka - Cozens - Quinn Greenway - Mittelstadt - Kulich Girgensons - Krebs - Okposo Extra: Jost, Olofsson
Gonna start a boy band called Big Time Shush just so I can get sued by two boy bands at once.
#MassShooting is this easy because two-party politicians put 100% of their energy into making sure we remember the “other side” is evil on voting day and 0% into courageously implementing good ideas from BOTH sides because it would require humility and might even cost them power.