cherry ☆

keep ur friends close.. and peter griffin closer 🚬

when im a baby but forget half my lines

i cant stop saying ya3ni even when im speaking english it keeps slipping out i had to explain to my 65 yr old white coworker what it meant today

to flop is to be free

My future partner will have to be okay with the Tweeting

two completely different but equally uncomfortable pains in the knee and foot of the same leg rn just cut my whole leg off i dont fucking care anymore and while ur at it unleash a new mutation of bird flu on israel and poison their water. cant believe this is happening hope i die

bought a homeless person some food and water to cancel out wishing death on an old man during the last hour of my shift bc of how rude he was to me #balance

it's for when i beat his skull in with a hammer then tell him to walk it off like a man

coworker came back from vacation in australia talmbout theres kangaroo meat on the staff table if u want bitch Whag

really grateful that my friend tells me right at the start of the call if i'm on speaker bc if she didn't this random girl just tryna get her nails done woulda heard me skip the hi how are you and go straight into discussing the logistics of giving my bush a low taper fade

cheating lowkey not even worst case scenario for me like go fuck urself obviously but if i find out he been tickling her at work???? baby thats murder suicide

does anyone know how to be normal about things

20 minutes into my shift and this just happened to me again

sitting in the living room w family and my cat stepped on the fresh belly button piercing that my mom does not know i have and i pulled this move trying to play it cool

ladies this is the sexiest way to wake ur man up in the morning Trust me

i wish my voice was girlier

i tried wingstop for the first time in toronto and started laughing hard asf while eating and my friend wanted to know what was so funny but i didn't know how to explain to her that i thought of this

im fascinated by the concept of peanut butter bc what do u mean this thing that can kill some people very quickly also has people like me staring at it like this

happy eat some bullshit thursday for this next trick i'll be meeting over half of my daily caloric requirements using only cheese puffs and dates

groundbreaking themes found in my drafts

heavy is the hand that digs in the butt