karina 💜🐯 #TypeDangerous

will make a proper post dedicated to my boy acy but here he is. 🤍🥺 the most loving and beautiful dog ever, my best friend and brother all in one lil soul covered with fur. full of love, playfulness and kindness, always down for an adventure like hiking trips! i miss him sm. ❤️‍🩹

and still am anxious. 🥲 better than earlier but still scared of it all. ❤️‍🩹🥺 in june our beloved dog acy passed away at the age of 15, which still hurts so much. been wanting to make a dedicated post for him soon but it’s still hard to process. i grew up with this angel. 🥺🤍

i couldn’t even listen to mariah’s new single and all other releases yet although i was so excited for Friday. 🥲💔 was too sad while my whole body was cramping and still can’t listen :(

i’m so alone 🥺💔

i still feel like crying ugh

i still feel like throwing up, out of period cramps and anxiety 🥺😭

very scared in fact 🥺🥲 i’m still shaky as of now :(

i don’t expect anyone to fully understand me, but the passing of our dog alongside other fears and worries still affect me and have made me very anxious the past few days. tears were shed at day and nighttime, nightmares came and went. i still am scared and feel alone. 🥺💔

in his last days, we had to make a quick decision and euthanize him. he couldn’t stop crying out and didn’t eat. we had the vet come over to our house, so he was in his safe space and with his family. ❤️‍🩹🫂 even though it was the right decision before he really suffers, it hurts.

when i say special dog, i mean it. 🤍🥺 he nearly died because no vet expected a young dog to have diabetes, had to undergo many checkups until his diabetes management was all set up and in 2014, he had a surgery so that he wouldn’t loose eye sight due to a diabetic cataract.

he was always there for us and sensed when we were sad. 🥺🤍 that’s how empathetic and loving dogs are, but especially him. he immediately came to cuddle whenever i was sad as child and snuggled his head to me. he always did that, even in his last days. the most special dog. 🩷

he had diabetes diagnosed when he was only about 3 y/o. many vets even assumed he wouldn’t get old at all - but luckily he exceeded all expectations and had a long, healthy life with lots of adventures and happy moments with us. 🥺🤍 he was the sweetest and most caring dog 🤍🐶🪽

i’m so sorry for the emotional outbursts earlier. 🥺 have been and am very anxious and scared the past few days, had nightmares, irregular period cramps, a whole lot at once. just very overwhelmed and feeling helpless or like a burden. 🥺❤️‍🩹

i feel guilty saying this but i’ve been in my room crying all day today because everything that’s happened and is happening lately hurts so much. the loss of our dog, everything has torn my heart apart. 💔💔💔💔💔💔 my whole body is shivering in anxiety.

the past days i’ve been trying to keep on a smile but cried for hours and through each night when nobody saw it. if i wouldn’t say it here now, nobody would know how many fears i carry inside. 💔💔💔💔

i’m having nightmares each night nobody knows about. nobody knows of all of my fears and worries in this very moment. nobody. 🥺💔 it’s all so very overwhelming and i’ve just now reached a point where i’m completely breaking

and when i’m oversharing here, it’s because i have nowhere to go with my fears and emotions. i’m all alone and helpless. anxious. worried. in physical pain. i feel my heart shattering to pieces because everything hurts so much rn. it’s so much happening at once 💔💔💔💔💔