e e bustings
@jessethehett
CEO of Microsoft. Philanthropist, futurist, visionary
Oh your dog’s scared of fireworks? Tough shit my cat loves them, I taught her to use a lighter and hold a bottle rocket in her little paws and she’s gonna be launching those fuckers over your fence all night long
Not gonna be so cute when the Rizzler goes through puberty and becomes the Jizzler
If New York elects a Muslim Socialist Mayor, San Francisco must one-up them by electing a Chinese Hotep
I think war in the Middle East is gonna go well this time, we’re due
He had a crack in the middle of his butt. The butt, it’s supposed to be solid. You’re supposed to be able to sit on it.
Israel bombed Iranian nuclear power plants because they heard there were daycare centers inside them
Great news everybody
Who remembers these. They might be making a comeback in 2026..
Went to the Minecraft movie and shot a gun in the air when the guy said Chicken Jocky
To the tune of Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle) by Limp Bizkit James BROLIN BROLIN BROLIN BROLIN
All the Italian celebrities are gonna be there! Monica Belucci, Roberto Baggio, The Penisinassio Brothers, even Gianluca Mamapussi!
Not a single one of these morning routine video guys is waking up with a boner. If you wake up with a soft-on I’m not listening to anything you say about health and physical performance
Imagine cruising the streets of Seattle on a riding lawn mower with a couple of these full of daiquiri like a tropical Poseidon
New: @Mariners offering the Tridents Up Cup — comes with 32 oz of soda and free refills for $24.99.
When a henchman with a ponytail and receding hairline shows up you KNOW shits about to go down
“Tech founder” huh, yeah cause you technically never founder clitoris