Bandy Legs
@jakegapper
1 man think tank. A bit like Bill Murray from Scrooged but without the work ethic.
In 2024 Hearts had their worst start to a league since their inception. Despite Y.Dhanda saying they’d win title. (Rock) Bottom of the league they sacked manager S.Naismith & using state of the art data analysis they hired N.Critchley, you won’t believe what happened next. 🧵
I fancy the underdogs to do it tonight with big boring Pressley getting his first win (or draw) with Dundee.
Straight back to it ⚡️ Heading to Ferguson Park to face Bonnyrigg Rose 🛣️ Tickets and supporter info here ⬇️ dundeefc.co.uk/news/next-matc…
They want you to work til you drop. Pension age will be bumped up to 70, we’ll be fed some crap that this is good for mental health etc. in actual fact it’ll be to try & steal from those who don’t quite make the avg. life expectancy in order to fund their ridiculous decisions.
Labour have announced a review into the state pension age, opening the door for it to be raised. Read the full story here ⬇️ telegraph.co.uk/business/2025/…
My advice on this- 1:- Fart, loudly & confidently 2:- quote the immortal line “Woah did someone just step on a 🦆 ?” 3:- If she smiles, you’re on to a winner. 4:- If she tuts in disgusts & moves away, it wasn’t meant to be 5:- If she vomits, maybe think about changing your diet
Sat on tram and there’s genuinely a 11/10 opposite me, perfect time for me to say absolutely nothing and think about her until I’m 34
What’s going on with the proportions here? Or did Dundee lose to a team from Alloa consisting only of shorter gentlemen?
The Wasps sting Dundee at the Recs 🐝 @AlloaAthleticFC with the shock result of the afternoon! @PremSportsTV
🔴BREAKING:- Man discovers how the passage of time works!
Completely wrong. It means 12 yr olds today will be voting on this govt in 2029. The voting age should NOT be lowered. A 16 yr old shouldn’t be able to decide on the govt that makes crucial decisions on security and the economy. Does anybody actually support this? I don’t.
What’s the odds of the 1st born to be named ‘Conan the Destroyer’ and Warlord World Leader by 2050?
Mya Lesnar makes it official with NFL linebacker from the San Francisco 49ers Drew Moss.
Finally, Des Lynam, Greg Wallace and Steven Segal. Together at last.
The new Cardonald mural. #stillgame
“If you want someone who’ll get anything against Airdrie in the 1st round of the premier sports cup, I’m not your man.”
Maxi Jazz (god rest his soul) of Faithless fame, famously couldn’t “get no sleep”. He’d clearly never listened to a pre match interview with Steven Pressley on Sportsound. Can’t wait for more of the same when Hibs play Dundee 1st game of the season. 💤
Remember all the stuff & nonsense the Better Together brigade spouted during the Scottish Independence Referendum? I can’t stand her but she’s right about this, the UK is done for(mainly because the @conservative & @UKLabour caused it) Bring on #ScottishIndependenceASAP
This is a crisis. We are becoming a welfare state with an economy attached. 28 million people working to support 28 million others. If we don’t fix this, our economy could collapse. Only the @Conservatives believe in living within our means. 🧵👇
Hibs v Rott Weiss Essen in a 🥜:- ▪️V.Good 🏠 crowd ▪️Excellent Away crowd ▪️GK at fault for 2nd imo,but good pen save ▪️Mulligan & McGrath both look like solid signings ▪️Boyle & Hoillet with a couple of 👨🍳💋 goals ▪️nice passing for the most part ▪️Doubt we see EY any 🕰️ soon
Britain pays wind farms to turn off when it’s windy and overpays gas plants to switch on instead. It'll cost bill payers up to £8b/yr by 2030. Zonal energy pricing would slash this. We’ve started tracking this (avoidable) waste live on our site: octopus.energy
‘Cooking’ and ‘cook’ have just earned banned word status on my account. Especially annoying during pre-season.
If someone who’s better with photoshop can change the £5 to £3Bn on this Rachel Reeves special edition note, lease feel free.
Bank of England to redesign banknotes - and wants your help bbc.in/4nueiIf
What a window the Huns are having so far:- Ancelloti Jr:- turned them down Mulligan:- turned them down Poku :- turned them down They’ve also (apparently) turned down very good money for igamane- he will shortly repay them by downing tools.
🔵⚪️✍🏻 Kwame Poku has signed in as new Queens Park Rangers player right now. All sealed. Deal 100% done. Excellent addition for QPR. ✅
I don’t know why they seem so worried, they have a £quadrillion striker in their team, that they’ve managed to hold onto so far.
Shades of Morelos moving to china for £50M here.
💥🔵 𝗘𝗫𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗦𝗜𝗩𝗘! Hamza Igamane to Lille transfer hits roadblock over Rangers mega asking price 💰 | @AndyNewportDR dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football…
“Whit’s the goalie daein Pam?”
Highlights of Luzern u15s 7-1 victory over Switzerland women’s team.🇨🇭🔥 x.com/cassyjnr/statu…
He played well for what 2.5 months around Xmas? I predict £8-12 M with a 15-25% sell on as an absolute maximum.
If Hamza Igamane leaves Rangers this Summer it will be for between €20 and 25 million with a huge sell on %. These are the undeniable facts. Sure he'll personally be taking a step backwards un his career to step forward but that's his decision. 🔴⚪️🔵