Brian Graham

it’s cool when someone likes a few posts from your profile first, then hits follow. tells a nice little story

hey, @fbi who was the most famous person to visit my profile? it doesn’t need to be a mutual, don’t tag them, just say who it was

my wife teaching me the term “matchy-matchy” was like giving a chimp a machine gun

(year: 2044) young guy: so you text the app ai a lot, they make your model, then the girls chat with that first. if you fuck up your model, it’s over. plus the app’s crispr mosquitos fetch your blood for testing old guy: wow, i got the last chopper outta vietnam with hinge/tea

goldilocks theory of firm ownership. not too many owners (government-operated, ugh). not too few owners (private equity, ugh). just the right amount of owners (publicly-traded, great)

no, no, i hear the dogwhistles. i just tune them out now. the dogwhistles have become more of a smoke detector chirp situation

clark kent: lois… i want to be open with you. i don’t want to keep secrets from you. i’m… i’m superman lois: “wow! do you have more secrets? would you tell me your anon twitter account” clark: no, never. no chance lois: “but—” clark: baby this is for your safety

zuck: one million more. i could have offered someone one million more

they should make a tv show that looks and feels like an italian mafia show. but it’s about the via panisperna boys discovering slow neutrons in 1930s italy. so it’s a lot of “ayo, fermi, i think you meant to write σ as 1/v, no disrespect”

my kids when i ask “who farted” vs. 1 minute later

yeah i kicked the persians down the well. whoever governs sparta must have that iron in him. or give it up! this is not a game of cards. this is your life and mine

oh samson-san. what is the secret to your great strength. how might you be bound, that one could subdue you

frodo: i wish it needn’t happened in my time gandalf: so do i. but it’s all happened in my time, frodo. all of it. look at me. i am as old as this world; too old. the tyrannical Divine Will is all that sustains me. i yearn to stop hearing, and telling, this Tale. i yearn for de—

komei vs tokugawa is a clear divide of empirechads vs shoguncels. the former offends milcel aesthetic sensibilities but imperially works to produce absurd miracles. the latter is an insane series of nerd traps and sky high abstraction ladders yet mostly scams

melania, she’s got humor. lotta humor. she’s the giggle at a funeral. knows everybody’s disapproval. but you know, i should’ve worshipped her sooner. but if the heavens ever did speak? melania, she’s the last true mouthpiece