big boy online
@idonotbleed
web page for reading my posts and being my.friend
inventing a microwave that has a +30sec button and nothing else
making love to the tooth fairy when i notice she’s feeling around under my pillow
she got my dick in one hand and a vape in the other call that Dicks VapoRub™️
you can stop taking your antibiotics once you start feeling better
This is true, and it’s also how you know humans are innately evil
You wouldn’t get me down there for a million dollars
2. Derinkuyu underground city, Turkey Extending to a depth of approximately 85 meters, it is large enough to have once sheltered up to 20,000 people, along with their livestock and food stores. What could have pushed humans to build something like this thousands of years ago?
Changing my last name after I got married because my wife started copying me
teaching my son to cook with fresh herbs so he doesn’t get ripped off trying to buy weed in high school
Took about 2sec for the right wing propaganda machine to lump “ukraine” in with the “radical woke left”
💯
steve harvey: name somethin you might find in the shower me smiling way too big: um steve i’m gonna say soap steve harvey: in YOUR shower?? [crowd cheering] me: [smile fading] steve i uh steve harvey: SHOW ME SOAP [giant red x buzzer sound] me: b-but steve [crowd goes wild]
News headlines from radical woke left “scientists” claiming no discernible difference in taste of white people and black people. “You can’t taste race” they’re claiming
How many times I gotta fuck this stork to get the baby?
Can I come over and walk around your house like this
I am a mosh innovator. In 6 months, you’ll see this move in every pit