Womansplainer

One year ago today we welcomed our sweet baby girl, never expecting that she would not still be here with us on her first birthday. I’m glad I was oblivious to how it all would go down. I was already scared enough as it was.

In high school I rejected a guy’s prom invitation two years in a row. The second year, he ended up taking a different girl and they are now married. So I should probably get some credit for that.

Did I tell you guys I had to get a vaginal swab last week at 2 days postpartum with a 2nd degree tear, and they had to use a speculum

I don’t think I could have gotten below an A in math even if I tried

My engineering degree is coming in handy as I’m about to run a freaking DOE to find the best food + bottle combo to get my baby gaining weight

lol

No one told me it’s not always just easy peasy to get a baby to eat ??? My daughter was fed with a feeding tube so we just pumped whatever she needed in and she didn’t even have a say lol

Baby boy’s weight is down from birth and hasn’t really gone up at all the last couple days, which I know can be completely normal, but of course now I have become convinced it means he has cardiomyopathy

I slept for TWO 2-hr-straight stretches last night and feel like a new woman!

Notice how I did not ask for advice! 🙂

Baby boy has had elevated bilirubin. Dr said he may need to be admitted overnight for monitoring and phototherapy, but then quickly jumped to reassure us it wasn’t a big deal. I almost laughed in his face. One night in a hospital for high bilirubin? I think we could handle that.

Three nights in a row with <3hrs of sleep! Whoooo!

Going home.

I know I’m supposed to be joyful. But all I feel is sadness.

I’ve used exactly 3 items from my hospital bag and I already thought I was packing light lol