💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫

Epstein dies in prison while Trump is President. Epstein's case is closed while Trump is President. Ghislaine Maxwell's testimony is blocked while Trump is President. Do you get it now? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me every damn time, you're MAGA.

So a president who isn't stopping wars, isn't stopping inflation, isn't stopping the deficit, but is stopping the release of Epstein files, is hated more than ever before?? Shocker.

I just finished not worrying about Obama, now I have to not worry about Fauci??

I just had a weird thought. Everyone is trying to guess if Trump is in the Epstein files, right? What if... now stay with me... what if... this might be unorthodox... but what if they simply released the goddamn files.

Now that the world knows Trump is in the Epstein files, Trump might try to flee. Normally he'd flee to Russia but now even Putin despises him. Maybe we can make a swap with El Salvador. We'll send them Donald, Marge and Kevin Sorbo and they have to send us absolutely nothing.

This is only breaking news to MAGA. 99.9% of all humans, animals, and plants already knew that Donny is in the Epstein files.

They went through Adam Schiff, Barack Obama, Dr. Fauci, and now they are arresting Bill Gates. I'm hearing they will exhume John McCain's body and arrest it next.

I was the hunted and now I'm the hunter... Of burgers and fries

Know who had a better economy? Obama. Know who isn't on the Epstein list? Obama. Know who had bigger crowds? Obama. Know who had more deportations? Hold onto your red hats... it was Obama. Obama crushes Trump in every category. And we didn't even get to Donny's tininess.

BREAKING: After going down the list of names to distract us from Epstein, Donald Trump has now reached Dr. Fauci. We're hearing Taylor Swift is next. Followed by Hannibal, and batteries in boats.

MAGA chickened out and stopped demanding Epstein files. Just like their leader, they are all freakin TACO's.

If you or someone you know is suffering from ODS - Obama Derangement Syndrome, please call the crisis hotline at 1-800-EPSTEIN-FILES.

I think a painting is the only way Melania could get that close to Donald without throwing up in her mouth.

For as long as "Epstein" is trending, "arrest Obama" will be trending. MAGA thinks they're playing "4D chess" but they're really playing "1D I shit my pants."

If Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Santa Clause, and my grandma are on the Epstein list, lock them all the fuck up.