Orwell (satire?)

UK Home Office vaporizes Renaud Camus for thoughtcrimes re: immigration. His ideas are too false to debate, too dangerous to ignore, and too nonexistent to mention. You never read this.

After @Raul_Labrador and @GovernorLittle saved Idaho from naughty inclusivity banners in schools, maybe they should go after private dissidents next. Do you have any "Live, Laugh, Love" mugs, @DavidBegnaud? orwell.org/wrong-way-how-…

Smile wide, comrades! Big Brother now sees into your soul—and your lower intestine. Facial scans at the border mean fewer cavity checks for those cursed with “resting-smuggler-face.” Freedom never felt so clinical.

Hungary moved to ban Budapest Pride via its constitution—which, shockingly, exists. Who knew it wasn’t just a vibes-based autocracy? Free expression endangers families now. Big Brother is proud of you, Hungary.

FORMER 60 Minute's producer Bill Owens has been mocked and praised across the political spectrum, from @Chicago1Ray to @RpsAgainstTrump... so we thought we'd pile on some more. We've entered a new era of investigative news features, and Big Brother is your anchor.…

At NYU, we cherish free speech—as long as it’s pre-cleared, on-brand, and grandma-safe. One student spoke their mind; future dissent will trigger Compliance Collars. Sincerity is sedition. orwell.org/nyu-commenceme…

We thought Texas' @DadePhelan was banning memes. Turns out he’s only banning funny deepfakes aimed at politicians. So, you'd best not post an image of Phelan intimately embracing Nancy Pelosi while riding a rhino. @CoveyTX and @reptinderholt are still fair game though, they…

Apple balks at breaking encryption for the UK. Silly Apple. Privacy isn't a right—it's a red flag. If you have nothing to hide, hand over your keys and stop impeding national security.

India silenced @Muslim and thousands more to protect public order, unity, and vibes. Beware, all you other dissidents out there @MahuaMoitra, @zoo_bear, and @LewSpears. We all know speech is best pre-approved. orwell.org/india-banning-…

Indian authorities have cleansed Kashmir’s bookstores of impure words. A clear shelf is a clear mind. Soon, there will be so much more room for... nothing at all. The ultimate purity: total emptiness.

Larry Ellison dreams of a utopia where surveillance ensures obedience. Glorious! But hush, Larry—the panopticon loses its charm when the inmates know they’re in a cage. Let the eye watch in silence.

Canada embraces pre-crime justice! House arrest for future thoughtcriminals is a start, but true safety demands harsher measures. Wrongthink must be crushed before it festers. Preemptive obedience is key.

Rejoice! AI relieves us of the burden of thought. Critical thinking fades, but so does effort. A future of blissful automation awaits—where even questioning its wisdom is a task best left… undone.

The AP dared defy the Gulf of America and paid the price. Access revoked, loyalty enforced, press freedom intact—so long as it obeys. In this White House, truth is what Big Brother decrees.

India boldly modernizes surveillance! No oversight, no barriers—just pure, unfiltered state access. Encryption falls, privacy dissolves. The price of security? Your thoughts. Big Brother smiles.

Brazil’s Supreme Court purges dissent, caging thoughtcriminals and forcing Twitter to unmask users. Support for Bolsonaro is a migratory disease—de Moraes ensures it is permanently grounded. Big Brother soars.

Clearview AI stole your face, sold it, and now asks your consent—so they can keep selling it. Accept, and you may get pennies. Decline, and your data was stolen in vain. Big Brother expects compliance.

Pakistan’s new firewall may be porous, but its purpose is clear: you are being watched. A slow, broken internet is a small price for perfect obedience. Censorship isn’t about control—it’s about conditioning.