General Steez

The autistic guy ringing me up at Trader Joe’s just spent 5 minutes explaining to me his detailed plan to save college basketball from the impacts of the transfer portal. The people behind me in line were getting very impatient. I refused to budge. Dudes rock.

Underrated aspect of the employed life is the Sunday day drinking

I’ll be honest here if I was a socialist candidate for mayor of the US’s largest city I probably would save the lavish private-militia protected international wedding reception until after the election

Oh my god. I missed all of Shark Week. I got the dates mixed up. I don’t know if I can live with myself.

I’ve been seeing a lot of tweets that are like “your life is defined by how much risk you take on between ages 20 and 35”. I think those people are correct. Yet I also have no way to gauge how much risk I am taking on. How do I go about risk-maxxing?

Wake up in the morning. Open up X.com the everything app. Oh nice picture of beer. Oh cool Michigan got a punter. Oh wow that’s the most racist thing I’ve ever seen. Oh wow that’s the 2nd most racist thing I’ve ever seen. Dear god that’s incredibly racist.

Me and my homie Azamat just parked our slab outside

I’ll be honest. Ohio’s Tate does an excellent job at pissing me off. The amount of times I have replied to one of his posts and then immediately deleted it may be in the hundreds.

This shit fucking infuriates me. He’s 79. With 5 children. And 11 grandchildren. And he’s playing golf better than most 20 year olds.

Hello friends….for my hungover lunch do I go sandwich spot, burrito, or chicken caesar wrap?

There’s a Culver’s right down the road from my new apartment and it might become an issue

I know a guy….6 foot 10, 14 foot penis, his father is literally Mohammed Bin Salman. It’s been 12 years since a girl has said a word to him. Dating is so fucked up right now. So fortunate I have a beautiful girlfriend.

I might have fucked up

And Gorillas. Hell yeah.

Drinking wine with Otters and Snow Leopards on this fine Friday evening

This guy’s mind is going to be blown when he learns about batteries

Been in the market for a new driver cover for a while. Decided to finally pull the trigger and treat myself.